I want to feel satisfied as I fall into bed exhausted. Complete in what I do. Comforted in the thought that homesteading improves my lifestyle and mood, that I stay healthy, contribute to the health of animals, grow glorious food for my loved ones, prepare for accidents or Mother Nature or the Zombie Apocalypse, according to my dear friend, Erik, but also live a good life. I want to lessen my footprint on this fine earth and live fully. Busyness sneaks up. Its eager eye on making me feel tired and blue instead of satiated. It robs me of time to make gourmet dinners and practice all the skills I am learning. Here I have learned all these much desired skills this winter with scarcely a moment to practice or put into place.
This winter I have learned to make soap, spin (somewhat…I am getting there), knit (crooked albeit), and play the fiddle. I have designed two new businesses. I have learned how to keep chickens in the past year and will learn how to keep bees this year. I will intern with my friend in her greenhouse. I have my shop in town. I will be a friend, mom, wife, lover, grandma, and farmer/homesteader extraordinaire…..tomorrow. Because busyness makes it tomorrow far too quickly.
So, I look around in vain trying to find the cause of my minutes flitting away. I still wanted to take a cheese class! I still want to go to college. I still want to do farmer’s markets with Emily, Maryjane, Nancy, and Faleena. What is taking so much time? Granted I do hand wash laundry, try to do things slow, but something else is stealing in the shadows.
Then a revelation! Lo and behold the thief comes to light. Do I seriously need to check my email twenty-five times a day? Check my blog to see if it is still there? See what’s happening on Facebook? Would it wait until the next morning? Could I properly homestead, complete tasks that I desire to do, and have time for a chapter of my book and a glass of wine under the huge Elm tree if I didn’t continually stalk the internet? What kind of off-gridder wannabe am I? I thought I had outsmarted technology and all its glitz by not watching television (save for The Voice and So You Can Think You Can Dance…I don’t think it’s too late for me!), but then the internet, in all its Siren glory, tricked me out of a few good moments on the land.
I will turn its face to the wall, turn it off if I must, but I will only view this box into the world once a day…..maybe twice. And find magic hours to read how to keep goats, play with the baby chicks, plant potatoes, treat animals, teach herbs to children in the inner city, learn to knit straight and spin fabulous yarn and breathe outdoors on this quaint little mini-farm. And play with Maryjane. Time found.