Divine Purpose Calling (and listening to yours)

There are ideas that come to mind that sound exciting and fun.  Things to try, to become, to do.  Most ideas are fleeting (like my wanting to become a chef), but sometimes an idea comes and puts down its coffee, puts up its feet, and stays.  It may have always been there.  It just doesn’t go away.  That is divine purpose.

I came across a project I did when I was about six or seven years old.  I wrote that I was going to be a teacher.  I stayed in for recess in first grade to tutor reading.  I lined my dolls up for school and took class pictures of them as I got older with my first camera with the 110 film.  I shifted between wanting to be a nurse or a teacher all through high school.  I accepted a modeling contract and started a family instead.  Then a dance company.  Then I became an herbalist, which richly satisfied my love of things holistically medical and healing.  And here I am.

I went to school when I was thirty.  I was going to be a teacher (after I got the crazy idea of being a music pastor out of my head).  Then I had to leave school to get a job and continue raising my kids.  I signed up again a few years later and dropped it before I could start.  Again a few years later.  Again a few months ago.  I get into my head the “what if’s.”  You know these?  What if I can’t even keep a job?  What if I won’t like it?  What if I will be too old?  What if I am not smart enough?  What if I don’t get as much time with my granddaughters?  What if it bankrupts me?  The what if’s get more preposterous as they go.  (“But you do teach,” people remind me.  I want to teach in a college setting though.)

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We all have a divine purpose.  In the book, Awaken the Spirit Within by Rebecca Rosen, the author describes our divine purpose as being an extension of God.  To show that infinite, beautiful love and care upon everyone placed in our path and to master the lessons we came here to learn.  Some paths or careers will place us in a way that we can do that better.  For me, I have a great love of late teen, early twenties aged young people.  I love their spirits, their ideas, their newness.  At my granddaughter’s birthday party, there were probably twenty or more of this age group and I always (and am often called Mama) feel like a mother hen to them.  I love them.

I recall well the teachers I have had over my life who for one reason or another did not like me.  They were horrible and did everything they could to sabotage me.  I also remember each person that took time out of their life to help mentor me or to encourage me.  That is the person I want to be in other’s lives.  That is what I can really excel at.  That is my divine purpose.  To be able to see the best in students (especially those brave enough to go to college to pursue a dream), to be able to help instill confidence and encourage them sets them up to succeed and therefore fulfill their divine purpose better.

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Last year and the beginning of this year were tough emotionally because I have been holding onto the past.  I had become very angry that so many out of state and city people had moved into my beautiful small town- the only place I have ever felt like was home- and drove up the prices so high that many locals were forced to leave.  I go visit my daughter and- I kid you not- get about run off the road by an Audi or BMW every dang time.  I miss the slow trucks of ranchers.  I miss the scenic vistas pre mini-mansion.  I miss my town.  I have been bitter that I don’t have a business with my daughter anymore.  I loved being with her.  I loved having a shop with her.  I loved being a full time herbalist.  But, things change.

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Just as my front yard was rearranged yesterday with sixty plus mile an hour winds, my life is being rearranged.  And that is okay!  I asked myself, “Well, do you want to move back to Elizabeth?”  If that is really what I want to do, I can.  I answered myself sheepishly, “Well, no.  I love the climate here, and the people, and my house and my low mortgage payment.”  (Sometimes you have give yourself a talkin’ to.)  Do I want to start up an apothecary with Shyanne again?  I am exhausted thinking about it.  I see her every few weeks or so.  It’s not like I lost my child.  And this big beautiful future looms ahead, nudging me towards the next divine step.  I can be an herbalist, I can be a mother, I can be anything.  So, I signed up for school to be a teacher.  Now, y’all keep me accountable and don’t let me chicken out again!  I just know (hope) that I will be teaching college (in New Mexico) one day.

What ideas never leave you?  What is Spirit nudging you towards?  What do you need to release in order to move forward?  What is your dream?

 

 

IKIGAI; What is Your Purpose?

I read the most beautiful book this week.  It has helped me get my groove back.

I had decided last year as my business was failing that I would go back to school to be a chef (but it is hard to be a chef when you don’t use animal products and the busy catering description gave me anxiety).  So then I thought teaching.  I love teaching!  “What would you teach?” everyone asked.  Oh…anything.  Then I got the bill for the first semester and promptly dropped all classes.  I would be retired before I could pay off that degree.  I look around and I love and am fascinated by so much.  My friend is a surgical tech.  That sounds cool!  My friends are nurses.  I was a candy striper in high school.  I wanted to be a nurse.  I could maybe work somewhere or do something.  Anything.  But, I know my pattern.  I go get a job, become overwhelmed, am shocked at the measly paycheck, am behind on dishes for weeks, and then quit.  I am better at being an entrepreneur.  But that failed.  Again.  Last year.  And that is when I went off kilter.  I lost my purpose.  I was no longer a full time herbalist.  No longer a shop keeper.  No longer healing baby calves around the county that were sick because they just got picked up from auction.  Heck, I am not even in the country anymore.

And then my beloved aunt and grandma passed away, I became sick, I think my dear friend, Steve, in California killed himself, and I have been listless and depressed.  Which is not like me.  And something had to give.

It is amazing how a book can change your life.  So many books, so much literature, has changed my life.  And this week, this book, I am so grateful for.  I realized that everything I feel is stemmed from my losing my purpose.

IKIGAI; the Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles is a beautifully written and researched tome.  The authors delve into the science and stories behind longevity and happiness, primarily in Japan, where the most super centenarians reside (over 100 years old).  What do they do?  What do they eat?  What are their days like?  I adore research and am very interested in the longevity studies and other cultures.  They touch on diet (tons of fresh vegetables, soy, and fish), social networks (lots of valued friends, social get-togethers, small amount of alcohol daily), spiritual health (honoring all of the spirits and their ancestors), and exercise (they move, not more strenuously, but all the time, biking and walking everywhere).  But the main thing that keeps these folks so alive and well is purpose.  Their IKIGAI.  If they know what that is, they have reason to get up every morning.

What is it that makes you spring out of bed in the morning?  What would you do even without pay?  What is your passion?  What could you talk about without hesitation?  What do you do naturally?  My aunt gave me this picture for Christmas.  I guess she knew.

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I am a writer.  I never have to think about writing this blog.  In fact, it bothers me to take days off but I want to make sure y’all can catch up!  I love writing; books, poetry, articles, snippets of thoughts…I am a writer.  It is my IKIGAI.  I get a modest payment every month from Amazon and the local museum that carries my books.  It won’t support us, but that doesn’t matter.  I am also a gardener, a farmer, a lover of animals.  I need a greenhouse.  I need to be around plants, and I need to grow my own food, and I need to be around animals.  Sanctuary.

After reading this lovely little book I realized that I do not need to have any new degrees, careers, or paths.   I am on it.  If I write every day.  If I take care of my chickens.  If I get into the garden.  I will be okay.  That is my IKIGAI.  And with that knowledge, I am free.  I have purpose.  What is your IKIGAI?

Read it!  It is a lovely book.

2019- As the Wheel Turns

My friends, we are on the cusp of 2019.  It is not a new thing to be thinking of what we want to change, manifest, or release.  This is a wired into us.  Before the modern world, the people knew that the wheel was turning.  The twelve days of Christmas was originally the twelve days of Yule and it ended on the 1st of the month, right when the wheel turns.  It is the thick of winter, a time of deep contemplation.  A bright new beginning.  A time of rebirth from the solstice when the sun begins to shine a bit more each day.  The light in us grows ever more as well.

Halo (Icebow or gloriole).

My work is as an herbalist, a clairvoyant reader, medical intuitive, and spiritual guide.  This is an unusual time.  Most everyone is in great transformation.  It is as if the universe is plucking things right out of people’s hands; relationships, jobs, identities.  Our worst traits are being exposed to the sun in order to change.  Our paths are being laid out in drastic form.  It is best if we just release.

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We are in a time of great change.  We are in a time when the young have more intuitive and sensitive people among them and they are struggling to understand why they are the way they are and are looking for mentors…or masking medications.  We are all being called to find our path.  To release our bad habits, fears, and ego and to embrace a better sense of self.  2019 may be a miraculous year for us all.  There are whispers and questions in the air that need answers.

What relationships cause you pain and stress?

Are your food choices compassionate, healthy, and karmically sound?

Are you honoring your body with movement?

Are you honoring your spirituality by being open to listen to truths being taught to you?  Are you taking time to honor that which you believe in?

Are you emotionally taking wellness breaks?

Are you working yourself every minute of the day for the car payment, for the dishes to be done, for the endless errands and hours at work to be done?

Your passions and desires are the road map to your destiny.  What do you dream of?  What does your life look like in your ideal world?  Who are you with?  What do you do?

What fears need to be released?  What negative habits need to be let go of?  What regrets do you carry?  Forgiving yourself is as important as forgiving others.

Listen.  Be brave.  Let go.  Release.  Embrace.  Smile.  Hope.  Surround yourself with your tribe.  Take up yoga, or walking, or Zumba.  Eat food from the earth.  Open doors, compliment, teach.  Love!  Take hot baths, meditate, light candles, read books.  Make steps towards your goals.  Breathe.

Laugh.

The wheel is turning.  Let us become our brightest, truest, happiest, most intensely magnificent selves.

(Let’s say it is the end of your days, look back, is that how you want to live?)

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Farmgirl Advice for a Happier Life

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1- Just because you are very good at something doesn’t mean you have to do it.  You can always reinvent what your life looks like.

2- Life is meant to be experienced.  There is no one purpose. You will have plenty of time to ponder the meaning of the universe, right now be human and experience life.

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3- Change is never easy.  Allow yourself to mourn.  But keep that glimmer of hope because the best is yet to come and closed doors lead to wide open opportunities.

4- Quiet your chattering mind.  Tune into the activity around you.  As I sit here on the porch on this lovely late summer day I watch a mouse quietly approach the bird seed and begin to nibble as dozens of finches take flight, their silhouettes artful in the filtered light.  I listen to the crickets’ songs of summer and feel the cooling breeze on my skin before the dog days of summer heat that is to set in later.  There is a much bigger world than what is going on in our minds.

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5- Listen to your passions and follow their road.  Do not try and figure out where they go, just follow their lead.

6- See people’s spirits.  See them as children.  Banish ignorance.  Don’t give into fear.

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7- Release the past.  Past relationships, events, hurts, happenings, eras.  Leave them behind with a blessing and move forward.  Cut the ribbons that keep you bound.  Fly.

8- Be enchanted.  Life is brief and blissful.  It is what we make it.  It is what we create.  A large black bird lands on a trellis next to me.  He is fascinating in his mottled browns and blacks and tussled feathers.  I wonder if he was born this very year.  The glorious blue jays screech their joyful song across treetops.

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9- Have faith.  Know that you were not just dropped on this earth without lifelines.  Fear is the lack of faith.

10- Treat yourself with care, my dears, and follow your heart.

Act 2- Culinary School

I was about six years old when I received my first cookbook.  I enjoyed cooking from it and helping my mother with dinner.  I made delicious desserts to take to youth group.  At sixteen I filled in as a cook for the daycare I worked at and created gourmet meals for the little ones.  I have always devoured food and wine magazines, watched every Martha Stewart episode, and never miss a good foodie movie.  Even as a vegan I read carefully how to make chorizo.  I won a national cooking contest through Frey Vineyards and have written four cookbooks.  Yet, it still surprised me (and my husband) that I would want to go to culinary school.  I have never even worked in a restaurant before! (I assume three weeks at Taco Bell doesn’t count.)  And yet, as I look forward to the second half of my life, it sounds like a very intriguing possibility.

I applied for the Culinary Program at a college an hour away.  I excitedly read the class offerings; knife skills, sauces, sustainable cooking, wine and spirits….

It didn’t take long for me to start doubting the whole thing.  What if I don’t get any financial aid? (I simply cannot take out another student loan!)  I want to spend time with my daughter and granddaughters at the store when they are there working, when will I go to school?  What if I have to drive at night?  My goodness, it sure didn’t take long for me to stand in my own way, did it?

I believe I will stop sabotaging myself and see how it all unfolds.  What’s the worst that can happen?

Whispered ideas and passions in your ear, what do you want to learn, create, do?  Follow that!  Life is waiting!

Daring to Imagine a Different Life

“You are daring to imagine that you could have a different life!” Birdie says in that delightful movie, You’ve Got Mail.

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I have been a working herbalist for a decade now.  It is day in-day out phone calls, with my entire identity wrapped up in it.  I will still do it on a smaller scale, but it is exhausting full time.  I loved having my identity be a stay-at-home mom, and a dance teacher, and a professional model over my life.  It takes courage to seek out a different life as businesses falter, or the children move out, or new dreams move in.  It is very difficult to close doors on some aspects in life in order to explore new ideas and dreams.  Whispered inspirations nudging us forward.  Ends of eras, sleepless nights, courage that nudges you past the fear of failure and into the unknown where you can fly is all worth it.

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I have a great passion to help people simplify their lives, lessen their bills, get out of debt, live the life they dream of, put down the phones, pick up a child, be in nature, make your own, sit on the front porch and create a grow-your-own kind of life.  My new shop will create inspiration, a place to get supplies and know-how, a place where women can gather to knit and sip on tea, a place where children learn to make cheese and crochet, and young families can get tips on growing in this altitude.  A back to the land or an urban homestead mentality.  A peace of mind, deep satisfaction kind of grin.  This new shop with my daughters will be so fine.

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The key to being brave and changing your life is changing the “what if’s.”  What if we fail?  Then we fail.  I did not take out large commercial loans for this.  What if no one comes?  Then I will have time to catch up on quilting.  What if….what if we succeed?  What if we have this shop in our family for thirty years?  What if we help change the lives of hundreds? or thousands?  What if?

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What if one door isn’t closing, it’s just changing paths and what if it is even better?

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Oh my dear, imagine that you could have a different life!

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What is your dream?

 

 

What If? (a birthday pondering)

DSC_6435My birthday is Saturday.  The years fly by in the breeze faster than I can blink but I am grateful for each and every year that I get to celebrate being on this beautiful earth.

New Year’s makes me ponder how I can do things better and makes me set lofty financial and personal goals.  Autumn makes me rethink what I need and what I don’t need.  It is a cleansing of sorts.  My birthday makes me think of ways that I can live.  How can I take in each day more deeply?  How I can be more present and more compassionate and more alive?  It makes me think…what if?

What if I stopped making a to-do list?  Would anything actually get done?  Instead of cramming sixty-two things into one day, what if each thing was done as I thought of them.

What if I stopped counting every penny?  Would money begin to flow in after I loosened my grip on worry?

What if I stopped circling back every time I began to move forward in my work?  Can I let go?

What if I got a Buddhist hair cut?  Would people think I was sick?  Or ugly?  What if it didn’t matter?  What if I released my appearance and symbolically started anew on my journey?  How fun would that be to not do my hair.  Or to not have a headache every night from hair ties?

Why is cutting my hair or releasing worry or moving forward or not having a to-do list so monumental?

What if I took more time to do yoga and to sit in coffee shops writing or got a bicycle and rode around town?  What if I spent more time in the garden or with my children or reading?  What if I had tea time every day at 4?  What if I cut my hair?

Maybe this is the year of boldness.

Of courage.  Of peace.

of living.

Finding Your Passion and Current Purpose-part 2

20180130_164503We all have a purpose.  There is not just one purpose but many interwoven with each other through time.  You are not just a mom, a wife, a farmer, a nurse, or a teacher.  You are a spiritual and feeling being and a human with desires and passions.  Identifying those passions that you have right now (passions change as you complete your paths) will help you find what will bring you the most joy.

It may be a career, or learning a new skill, it may be a profound change in yourself or your family for the better, whatever it is, it will create ripple effects throughout the world and space because everything that you do that is positive and with passion will grow and inspire others and will help you do what you are here to learn and experience.  Your dreams are not coincidental or fanciful or elusive.  If you have that desire now, it is for a reason.

Quiz time!  Grab a piece of paper (or a journal because this may the beginning of your journey!) and let us begin to piece it all together.

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1. In your ideal life when you wake up in the morning where are you?  Hawaii?  South Dakota?  Italy?

On a farm?  In the city?  In a cozy home?  Be detailed.  Even if you think it is impossible.  Be exact.

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2. In your ideal life who is there with you?  Be honest.  Are you happy in your relationships?  Are there things that need to be addressed?  Who are the people that you love most and that make your life beautiful and fulfilling?

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3. In your ideal life, when you first wake up, what are you doing?  What is your role?  Are you a writer?  A farmer?  A traveler?  A doctor?  What do people come to you for?

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4. Picture yourself in your mind’s eye.  What do you look like?  What do you want to look like?

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5. Name all of the things you have interest in right now, no matter how small.  Gardening, running a bed and breakfast, starting a sanctuary, going back to school, opening a restaurant, learning yoga, getting rid of clutter, losing weight, writing a book, getting a dog….write down everything!  They may not seem related but upon further analysis you may see that they are all related!

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6. What are you best at?  What do people come to you for or say that you are the best at?  Does that thing bring you joy?

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7. Name twenty blessings in your life right now.  Name five things you would like to see morph into something better.

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Now go back and answer questions 1-3 in present tense. How things are now.  Compare them to your ideal life.

Really study what you do, where you want to be, who you want to be with, what your passions and interests are, how you want to be seen, what your life does and could look like.  You may love your life and that is great but we are always moving and morphing and our path keeps winding so to have a fresh perspective on what we want to do, where we want to be, and what we want to experience in this lifetime are important.  Keep learning, keep dreaming, be your best self, don’t become complacent or hopeless, move bravely down the path of your passion!

What did you discover?

Finding Your Passion and Current Purpose-part 1

20180128_141816-EFFECTSHave you ever wondered what is next?  Where your path is leading?  What you will become next?  Some people work a career their entire life and then retire.  Some raise children and become entrepreneurs, like myself.  I have reinvented what I do so many times because I have so many interests but they all really dance around each other.  They are all interconnected.

I breathe in the cool morning air as the sunrise reaches rose pink across the winter sky and crows hover about.

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I lead an enchanted life of miraculous happenings, unusual animal and bird sightings, healings, and things happen to us that just do not make sense in the cookie cutter mind of our world.  This thrills me.  But there must be a reason why I see these things.  Experience these things.

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I have an influential voice.  That comes with responsibility to make sure that I am speaking and teaching what is compassionate and what is beautiful and what is real.  Before bed I ask my ancestors and friends to help me see answers to what is next.  The pictures in my dreams are always of me leading a group.  Or of me being a type of Martha Stewart with a compassionate twist.  I love creating; whether it be gardens or art or words or great food or inspiration or encouragement or a new life.

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The Universe has seemingly freed up some time for me.  I have time to do something.  I teach herbalism courses and shaman courses and I write and help with the shop and answer the apothecary phone and help people.  I’ll be on a radio show next week talking about my herbalism and plants in homesteading and promoting my book, Homesteader Pharmacy (click to see on Amazon).

There is more though.  I am on the cusp of something.  I am not just an herbalist.  Our goal is to pay off debt this year.  I want to work towards getting a farm and animal sanctuary in the future, but in the here and now….ideas swirl overhead like dust devils but don’t quite land.

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I fill my time just fine and come summer I will be really busy with gardens and wildcrafting and markets but there is just something below the surface that ties in everything that I do.  Something to give me purpose.  I have been working on a book for the past year.  I put it aside in order to write a novel.  I wrote said novel but I can’t say I am a great fiction writer.  I am a non-fiction writer.  This book keeps bobbing to the surface.  It just needs some dedication.  Writing a few hours a day has to make the to-do list.

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I know I am more than just an herbalist.  It used to consume twenty-four hours a day for me but my daughter has taken on most of the work.  Finding my other passions and moments of inspiration are what I need to ponder.  Something to tie them all together…

Now, where are you on your journey?

The Third Step to Achieving Your Goals (and bring on 2018!)

20171226_192715How wonderful that we will have a full moon tomorrow night, a Super Moon at that.  Perfect for manifesting those deep seeded intentions!

By now you have looked at what you want to transpire in 2018.  You have examined fears that may hold you back.  Respected that dreams are imbedded into your path for a reason.  You see the reasons behind what you want.  You know it will make you a better person and make your life better, therefore making you a happier person and a person who has the ability to help others.  Now.  We make it happen.

Fire and full moon are a spectacular ways to use high frequency power to send your desires out to the universe.  You have many helpers beyond the screen.  Ancestors, friends, angels, the universal web of information and wisdom, plus all the information stored in your DNA, chakras, and in the spirits all around you.  You got this.

You should have your resolutions written down in a prominent place, like the first page of a journal or a daytimer so that you can see them often.  Now, write on slips of paper each desire, each intention, each dream.  Focus on them intently.

Write down the things that you wish to release on other pieces of paper.  Perhaps of a different color.

In a blazing fire, focus on the things to release first.  Then one by one throw them in the flame.  As the smoke rises it will take your notes to the skies.  Then repeat with the manifestations.  You just increased your success by 90%!  Now the rest is up to you.  If you want a new job, go apply.  If you want a strong body, start a yoga class.  Get out there and be the best person you can.  And know that your soul is perfect, therefore you are as well.  Be kind to yourself.  Speak lovingly to your body.  Love all that cross your path.

Happy New Year Everyone.