Posted in inspiration

A Different View of Feminism

I filled out my ballot. Signed the envelope. Voting is a right I do not take for granted. It is one my foremothers fought for. I am thankful that I have equal rights as my husband and am not his property, but rather his partner. I am a feminist as far as equal rights and partnerships go but I have a very old fashioned view of what feminism should look like and what many of us have forgotten.

I am a housewife. I do not have children at home. I am expected by society to obtain work. Even mothers with children are expected to work. The doors were opened by marketing campaigns for frozen dinners and cigarettes to alight the way for women back to work. No longer are we attached to our apron strings! What really happened is that women left the kitchen en masse for careers and the workplace, leaving their children to fend for themselves. And yet still, as we leave work at dusk, we are still expected to clean the house, run the errands, and feed the family. Fast food and restaurants, food services, house cleaners, and daycares fill the spaces that we left behind on our way to the office.

When Doug and I started a homestead, it was made very clear why women and men have specific roles. They are very natural and work well together. It would take me three days to chop and stack wood that a man could do in a few hours. Men have a natural inclination to provide for their families, to be the hunter-gatherer, and their self esteem is often linked to that. We as women are natural nurturers, holding any child to our bosom who is in need, providing cooked sustenance and taking care of most needs over our own. A homestead depends on gender roles, as does our society.

I have had as many young male farm interns as female, and even in our modern day, these young people excel at what their gender dictates. The men are terrible at cleaning house and doing dishes, scarcely lifting a finger to fix supper, not detailed orientated, but excel at large jobs, stacking wood, heavy lifting, building. While the women flit around seamlessly, canning tomatoes, fixing supper, laughing, and gardening. There are always exceptions to the rule and many things are fun do together with partners, but for the most part, we are different in beautiful ways.

We women are powerful creatures, fighting for good and fairness. If women put half the energy they do into fighting for the right to have an abortion any time they like into the good and well being of our communities, how powerful that would be. If we put that kind of energy into nurturing our families, how much stronger our society would be. We are incredible leaders and passionate advocates- we are just fighting for the wrong things!

We live in Colorado, the third highest cost of living state to live in. We are proof that two incomes are not necessary. We do not have streaming services, cable, expensive phones or data plans, we despise debt, we are thrifty when needed but still indulge in what we love. We save money by my being home. Feminism also is the right to stay at home and be providers at the hearth. Women of all centuries have always had a side hustle that allowed them to have pocket money without giving up their responsibilities to the family and home. Work one day a week, arts and crafts, selling eggs, teaching classes, profiting off of hobbies- all these things can bring in income. Being at home is more environmentally friendly, more economical, and creates positive outcomes in the home. If you want to be a lawyer, go be a lawyer. If you want to be a homemaker, you have that right as well!

I wake up, pour myself coffee, start a fire in the woodstove if needed, work in the gardens, take care of the animals, clean the house, prepare meals, preserve food, work on crafts, am available if my children and grandchildren need me or if the neighbors need help. I am able to have peace of mind, have a busy, enjoyable life in the company of my family, provide healthy meals and a warm house, and proudly wear my apron. Now is the time to rethink what feminism is supposed to mean and use it for the health and security of our families, our communities, and our society at large.

Posted in inspiration

Autumn Challenge; Creating the Life You Want

Life is really beautiful, isn’t it?

Ever since I was a small child, I always had the innate sense that time here on this earth is limited. That each day is anew with experiences and exhilarating breath. I feel like I blink and my husband is kissing me goodnight again. These days go fast. Better be living in a way that brings about joy! How do we balance living in the present, moving towards a future that we dream of, and learning from the past?

Let’s start with the past. Okay, great- now let that go. Seriously, the past is filled with learning lessons and decisions that got you where you are now, of bittersweet memories of when the children were little and of people past, and traumatic experiences. Tip your hat at it, close the door on it when things pop up, and then look around you in the here and now. Breathe. Look up. There is simply no time to waste on it.

Present. No time like the present. Several times today, just look up. Look around. Smile. No matter what is going on. Gratitude can get you through anything. It can fortify the best days. Notice the details. There is a breeze kicking up. The mountains look bright against the deep blue sky and the horse across the street is running circles around his house- all muscle and brilliance- to wake his dad, who has apparently forgotten breakfast. I am writing- my favorite occupation and pastime- and, I am afraid, I made my coffee too weak. The kittens are running around the house. All these moments make up a life here. Seemingly minute details of everyday life, each decision we make, moves us towards a life well lived, and affects the future of the next generations. How do you want to live?

In my lowest moments I have often wondered what is the point? If we are just going to be struck down dead at any given time, what is the point of pursuing a new career, or completing a dream, or dreaming at all? We are painting a picture of the new world to come, of life for future generations, for- depending on your beliefs- our own future when we come back to try again.

Each one of us are given a set of lessons to learn here. Every circumstance and coincidence in your life is a means of learning and mastering the lesson. Every passion, every talent, every dream is there on purpose to move you towards and through the lesson and gives you an opportunity to paint a brighter world and future. We are always one step into the future. Already, everything I just wrote is in the past. Let us live moving forward.

I tend to get stuck in the status quo, what always has been done, how things have always been, and figure they are the way to be. But we change, things change, our dreams change, we must morph with it. Even if it doesn’t make sense, or if it doesn’t seem possible, if you have it in your heart, and it feels right to you, then it is good. If you lead with kindness, and lead with love, you cannot go wrong.

My last post prompted me to reanalyze how I am living my life. I do that often, particularly this time of year, as Autumn always seems a good time for contemplating. Ask yourselves the same questions and see where they take you:

  1. How do you feel physically? How do you feel mentally/emotionally? How do you feel spiritually?
  2. Does your work bring you joy? How does it serve others? How does it serve you? (It has to go both ways.)
  3. What are your dreams right now? What are your goals? If you could do anything and not fail, and had ample money to do it, what would you do for work? What would you do for play? What experiences do you want?
  4. What is heavy on your heart?
  5. What are you passionate about?

I tend to look at the past to govern my future, but the things that made me happy before do not do so now. The ways I have lived in the past do not serve me now. So, even if it is difficult, not socially acceptable, or risky, answering these questions helped me paint in my mind what I do want my life to look like. When you paint that in your mind, the universe goes straight to work painting it with you. (So, watch your thoughts and words!)

Using bullet words helps it all come together. Animals. Farming. Herbs. Writing. Health. Homesteading. Family. Vitality. Life. Kindness. In my life now, I don’t feel the need to be a professional herbalist in the ways that I have been. I don’t feel the need to do a lot of things I used to do. My job and life desires have changed, as I have.

Create a new mantra. I do this every year and it really helps me make decisions and move myself to where I want to be. “Never make a decision based on fear” was one year’s. I think my new one will be, “Lead with love and promote life.”

My daughter and I are now working as Doulas. (http://SacredHeartbeatDoulas.com) A new way to use my herbs and my expertise but very different from what I have been doing. I have a great desire to farm, and I can visualize my herb gardens, my vegetables gardens, the orchard, the wild land left untouched so the wild life have a place to be and the wild herbs can flourish, and the animals. But the animals are not going to be for meat and milk. We will rescue some furry farm kids and allow them a life of fun and ease and love. That feels tremendously right to us. I will eat plant based, because I am spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthier when I do. I will continue to write to inspire. My family is the most important aspect of my life. Everything else will be filed under, the past. All of that matches my new year’s mantra;

“Lead with love and promote life.”

What will your mantra be?

Posted in Herbal Remedies

Finding Oneself Among Cottonwoods and Willows (the walk of self discovery)

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I found myself among the cottonwoods and willows.  I was probably there all along.  I looked up into the high tree tipped with buds, the sun filtering through thick branches.  I quietly filled my jar with buds and twigs.  A bit of bark.

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The breeze brought news of rain as I gathered and listened.  My true essence blooming and enveloped me as I wild crafted the materials to make my pain medicine.

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My fingers agilely gathered the herbs, a bit of pine, willow bark, cottonwood.  For so long, eight tablespoons of this, two tablespoons of that, a waterproof label.  The medicines amazing and developed to help masses of people.  But my headaches still seemed unanswered.  This time, among the cottonwoods, I heard the recipe.  Simple really.

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Finding oneself and recalling the gifts and genetic dispositions and self that is true within our inner most being often eludes in the face of the world.  To find that knowing, that instinct and profound quiet, the peace of it all, the true self calls.

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But there I was all along among the willows.  My intuition full, my hands deftly fingering the right additives for my concoction.

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Instead of alcohol I added my own homemade red wine vinegar.

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I added the last of our honey harvest, licking the sweetness off of my fingers after squeezing it through.

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I added oil to the salve ingredients.

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The sun will infiltrate their cell structure and bring out its real essence.  It knows what it is meant to be.  And there I am too.  Among the cat tails and meadowlarks.