It has been over ten years since I was this sick. I am an herbalist. I make the most effective medicine I know of. I eat well and try to exercise. I don’t get sick! My body means business this time. It wants me to sit down and listen, and hasn’t really given me much choice in the matter. I have been having colorful dreams (maybe because of all the valerian), and the theme is pretty clear. Hit them brakes, Sister.
For as long as I can remember, I do as much as possible in a day. It is my worth. No one else is going to do it. It is my job. It is normal. To-do lists and packed days of…the same housework, the same chores. What, just what, would happen if a client came over and the kitchen floor was dirty? Would they think poorly of me? That my house wasn’t sanitary? That I wouldn’t be able to do a Medical Intuitive Reading properly because I haven’t dusted?
I do things with such intensity. The same intensity that I put into gardening, pursuing a new venture, getting the housework done, is the same intensity that I put into having a cup of tea, or reading a letter. Fast. Get it done, check it off my list. Why? Because I can’t remember what it is like to just move at a slower pace. Most everything I think has to be done is self imposed.
November was a very trying month. Actually, autumn, was very trying. A lot of death and loss. I got weakened from stress. If I wasn’t going to stop the insanity, my body would make me. There are so many things I do to try to prove that I am a good mom, prove that I am good at my gifts and my work, prove that I am a good wife, prove that I am a good friend, prove that I got this. I am every woman.
The past few nights Doug checks to see if I am still breathing as I sleep.
I have missed December. I have had to cancel numerous consultations, a sleepover with my granddaughter, two weeks out of my new granddaughter’s four weeks of life, zoo lights, Santa Claus with my girls. I feel beaten and bruised from coughing.
Something’s gotta give. Listen, friends, we have to start listening! We don’t have to do everything to keep everyone from being disappointed. We don’t have to work so hard. To drink our tea so fast. This intensity, drive hundreds of a miles in a week, prove that I am worthy, to-do list madness must stop. I don’t remember how.
Balance…elusive word. Choose what I want to do and give plenty of space in between for tea and a bit of reading. What can go? What should stay? “Every time you say yes to something, you say no to something else.” I have been saying “no” to my peace of mind and my health as of late (or for decades). I’m listening now.
The disease of busyness affects many of us. I hope this will inspire some of you to put down the to-do list and re-evaluate. We are worthy. It’s time for us to settle down and smile now.
Feel Better and Out With the Old Detox Bath
While bath is filling with nice, hot water, pour in 1/2 cup of baking soda, 1/2 cup of sea salt, a few drops of bubble bath or organic dish soap. A few drops of rosemary, eucalyptus, lavender, and orange essential oils (or your choice, go easy on the “hot” oils). A great drizzle of olive oil. Light a candle, play some nice music. Don’t rush. This blend is very alkalizing and soothing to muscles and detoxes tissues.