I have written many times about how to manifest your dreams. Write them down, set a goal list, talk about them, and watch them turn into reality! It is a science. It works. What I haven’t written about is what happens when that dream comes true then gets taken away? How do you restart? How do you manifest a new existence when the circumstances are being laid out for you.
Someone responded on my blog post Sunday that they hope I find what I am looking for. That bothered me all day because I did find what I was looking for! I am living on my homestead! I had trouble putting the hand clothes washer for sale. What if I need it? Folks, I haven’t used it in two years! BUT, what if I get my off grid homestead and don’t have a washer?! Things to think about, people. I put it up for sale anyway. I know we have nesting instincts and want to be prepared and all, but I am starting to look around and realize I am prepared to have a dinner party for seventy-five people! I have three tables, cupboards of dishes, closets of clothes when we only wear a few outfits, and things we just do not use.
We went walking in Castlewood Canyon yesterday. A miraculously beautiful and peaceful place, it balms the soul and brings calm with its breathtaking features.
Doug and I talked and then fell into silence. We would bring up ideas, then fall into silence. For an hour we walked, sat, dreamed, talked. This homestead isn’t really what we wanted after all. If we are going to live thirty feet from someone on a homestead they need to be likeminded folks. We also talked about how the most devastating part is behind us. The loss of our animals was difficult and the death of our dream was too. But now as each thing leaves the house, as we sell off one more piece of furniture, fill one more bag for charity, sell one more pile of things, we are beginning to feel something we really have never felt, liberated. We are daring to dream of another existence.
Perhaps I can speak at herb conferences. Perhaps we can be so light on possessions that it is nothing to pick up and head around the country writing about farms. Or visiting friends. We are free. We need to get a backpack.
For the next 18 months or so I am going to step back from my ego. Seek out teachers for herbalism and Permaculture and whatever else the wide world thinks I ought to learn. Guitar lessons, continue my wine classes, who knows? Improve my art and maybe get my things in a gallery? Or just enjoy homesteading with my co-homesteading compatriots. I want to be more quiet, more helpful, more creative. There are wine bars, and restaurants, and ice cream shops all down the strip near our new home that beckons to be tried out. Each and every one.
I will be with my husband. My closest friend. I could walk with him forever. What do we need with all these possessions?
A lot of folks right now have had major transitions or on the brink of them. Maybe take a little time today to write down what you would like to do (or not do) in the next year. Then gather up a bag for charity and let some things go. Let us let ourselves go.