The rain has been gently coming down for days. It will continue today. My cold crop seeds, parsnips, potatoes, garlic, onions, radishes, mustard, stir fry greens, spinach, Swiss chard, snow, snap, and Alaskan peas, pak choi, carrots, beets, lettuce, herbs, all these things stay in their blanket of fresh soil and the water will rejuvenate them into life. The rain dampens my heart just a bit. A sliver of warm sun would do me good but perhaps this rain will wash away my worries.
Oh, we all have worries. I take them as a waver in faith. I know all is well and that we are where we are supposed to be but sometimes the mind can get oversaturated with thoughts. Perhaps I should stand in the rain until they are gone.
Did I move too far away? We end up driving back to our old town nearly every day. Over 160 miles for two round trips to watch our beloved baby. Back there again for Celtic Festival meetings and bank trips. I only know the friendly faces that I miss seeing regularly at the coffee shop and around town.
Will the landlords grow tired of the animals and the farm and the comings and goings that go with it? Already a comment was made about the chickens. Did I make a mistake?
Did I really just practically give away our means of paying bills? I dreamt I opened another apothecary, this time in the high end Cherry Creek district. A laugh of course. Why can’t I be patient and finish jumping off this cliff and see that we will be just fine financially? That we are living the life we wanted. That we are always fine.
Perhaps I am tired from assisting Isabelle’s birth and then watching her baby go to her new home yesterday. Perhaps the weekend caught up with me. Perhaps I should go sit in the rain. It is so cold though. Coldest winter we have ever endured.
My cousin, Heather, said to me, “You manifested everything else, why don’t you just manifest another wood stove?” And of course we did and it is being put in tomorrow. So enough with the worries. We will have food here on this farm, new friends, our family, and a spectacular view. Another shot of coffee and plan the week’s course. There are animals to care for and seeds to plant. No time to second guess myself now.