The morning rang promise. The air outside twenty degrees and the inside of the house had warmed to forty eight. But the sun shone so brightly, so gloriously this morn and I found that the prairie’s cold edges had been softened by an overnight snowfall that left the spance of barrenness now dancing with tiny diamonds, facets of crystals, sunlight, and festivity. I let out an exhale.
Have you ever had those evenings when you blow out the oil lamp beside the bed, huddle under the covers, and pray to wake up in Hawaii? When discouragement and nit picking sadness won’t leave you but rather leaves you weary and desperate? Such a night it was. The feeling of insurmountable and never ending happenings start to take on its own unreasonable aura. For all the dreaming and praying and begging and planning and succeeding at finding our dream homestead, if you had told me that the house in an arctic blast would never get over fifty degrees, I would have said, “Oh, hell no.” I don’t stand outside when it’s in the forties, I am going to stay inside in it too? Yes sir. I have let go of all the souls that passed on this year but the sadness remains. I understand that it is tough times for folks but I went to bed wondering if I am being foolish with what I do. Healers don’t exactly bring in the big bucks, and sometimes they don’t bring in the little bucks either! We are here to help people who choose not to go to the doctor or hospital and there is absolutely nothing we cannot help with. But we have received more inquiries on social media about our old house and whether it’s for rent than for remedies. Our friends visit doctors who give them medicines that make them sick. Should I go get a real job and give up? Do people really need me? Should we move back to the city to somewhere that has heat? Should we….and then blissful rest overtook me until the dog heard something at one in the morning.
But then I awoke to this scene. The house feels warmer somehow. An older gentleman that has been battling severe nerve damage for many years in his foot is coming by for more medicine because it’s working for him. We are getting ready for a craft show tomorrow where we will see friends, perhaps help some folks with our remedies, and get excited for Christmas. We will get by and I should be thankful that we have a home, food, and some heat. This lifestyle may not be for everyone but it is certainly for me and Doug and I am thankful for those new beginnings, new mornings, and snow covered fields that remind us of all we have. Homemade gifts are in the works, hot coffee in the thermos, and life on this homestead goes on and is certainly sweet…if not a bit chilly.