I find the problem with being a writer is that one can look darn near bi-polar with one’s musings, for all the world to see. Much like my journal, my writings span from the depths of despair to extreme glowing gratitude. I switch blogs like colored pens, depending on where I am on my path, trying to find the name of a blog that fits. Perhaps I want to be philosophical and the farming blog seems wrong but the goat advice doesn’t belong on the creative blog and so forth. So I abandoned them all. The fact is, a writer must write, even if they risk embarrassment allowing others to view their thoughts. There will be no perfect platform because every aspect of our lives are so different that a blog would have to be named, Inside the (not always practical) mind of Katie Lynn or one of my names I am referred to- maybe Bird Woman, Grammie, Mama, George (an adorable Bugs Bunny reference my husband began calling me twenty years ago). I think to myself, No one cares! My god, write in your journal and keep your heart off the internet! But alas, as I write pieces in my head, I must record them in hopes that someone will find a moment of aha, a moment they can cling to and use to bring more light into their days.
My shop, Cedar & Loom, opens in less than three weeks. In a new town. With new people that have never tried my herbal medicines or sat around chairs having tea in my shop. Creator made me sit it out there for a few years. Indeed I pouted the majority of it. Trying to fill in the spaces after the term, “I am…” Sometimes we have to circle back in order to move forward. We have to remember who we are. Where we come from. We have to recall what our gifts are, how blessed we are, and our purpose in the world. We have to sit in time-out when we forget and get bitter or frustrated. We have to review the past and sit in silence to re-find ourselves. To really get to know ourselves again. To meet our eight-year-old self and review our soul and find joy in watercolors. We undress from constricting versions and images we have created for ourselves. Then we can move boldly back into the world. We restore our empathy, our compassion, our fire. We move forward all the wiser…if a little fearful on wobbly feet. (But knowing Creator is guiding every step.)